The story „On vacation“!“

Summer is vacation time. Even journalists who never appear in the editorial office have vacations. Sitting at a computer all day, surfing the Internet and writing is also work. I think when I become famous I’ll stop posting on forums for free. Articles and messages are equally fun to write. But it turns out unfair, I get money for one of my favorite activities, but not for another. Although I perform similar actions. But I can’t help but take money for articles. I’ll die. Probably from hunger. But we digress.

I took a vacation in August. Many people go to the sea in the summer. But I can go to the sea any day. The main thing is to find 9 rubles for a minibus..

I re-read the previous paragraph and thought, do I really have money so rarely?? I haven’t seen the sea for several years. If only from the window of a car or train. Over the past two years, I’ve been on a plane more often than I’ve been swimming in the sea. There must be logic somewhere in this phrase.

How to spend a vacation for a person whose sea is always at hand? There were no ideas. Relying on friends. Told them, "I’m finally on vacation. We must make it unforgettable. Relax like never before".
– Let’s get drunk!, — the Hakobyan brothers suggested at once.
“Get drunk,” I say, “that’s your working condition.”. It must be unforgettable..
– Let’s go to hell!, – the Akopyans interrupted me again
— In Zyuzya it’s the weekend, and we have a vacation.
At this point the Akopyans became worried and began to whisper: “Drugs for him or something.”? Grass, glue… Or maybe he thought not to drink?!»
– He can’t drink? – as if reading the brothers’ thoughts, said the non-drinking Arturchik.
– Let’s not go to extremes. Alcohol will not be an end in itself, but a pleasant addition. In general, listen. There’s no point in you. I’ll figure it out myself..
And then the battle of wits began. Everything I said was rejected. The brothers wanted to drink, the teetotal Arturchik wanted women. Preferably salable, but inexpensive. I wanted to rest. After all, it’s my vacation!

We couldn’t come to a consensus and therefore decided to spend our vacation as follows:. First go to the bar, then to the women, and then we will rest as I ask. But I didn’t show my cards. This worried the brothers a lot. They seemed to think I had a deep and varied personality. Perhaps too much for them.

First day of vacation and immediately beer. Optimistic attitude. Arturchik, a non-drinker, was not happy about the idea, but there was nowhere to go. Sometimes a sober person in our company has much more fun than a drunk person. Especially the next day. And the hangover has nothing to do with it. After all, the teetotaler is the only one who remembers everything about everyone and does not pretend to be a martyr: “Oh, brothers, I don’t remember that I would have done such a thing – for the life of me, I’ve lost my memory.”. Someday Arturchik will start taking money for silence. Or we’ll force him to take them – it’s better to let everyone pretend they don’t remember.

Before heading to the pub, we had to stop by our friend, Vovka Volkov. He is a unique person. Almost a genius. After all, every genius has a gift. Vova has a gift for dismissals. Even his own father fired him.

In his life, Vova knew two professions – an electrician and a darkroom operator. The cameraman is not the one who films, but the one who prints photographs. Although… Vova took a lot of photographs. For some reason, myself, and myself. I don’t remember a single film that didn’t contain his autophotography.
He wasn’t an electrician for long. Vova and wires are a dangerous combination. After all, there are two things he dislikes most in life: electricity and work. When I become very rich, I will buy an apartment, install hidden cameras in it and ask Vova to do the wiring. And then I’ll watch how it works. Or rather he’s shirking. Even in an empty apartment he will find entertainment. At home he talked (I swear!) with stools, and it seems to me that, if desired, he can communicate with bare walls.

Vova’s second main job suits him much more. He loves photographs, and so does printing them. It’s a shame this doesn’t last long. Probably no longer than fifteen minutes. There is no photo laboratory in Sochi where he would not work, and from where he would not be fired. Even I worked with him for several months. Guess why I don’t work there anymore?
In general, we came to his work. Naturally, he was not found there. By God, we’re all adults, but we’re behaving like children – we’re looking for Vova at his workplace… We started looking for him in the area. He was sitting in a cafe.
“Why,” I say, “aren’t you at work?”?
– I’m tired
-You haven’t even opened yet!
– It’s worse for them… Why did you come??
– I’m on vacation. The brothers and Arturchik, as I understand it, too. After all, it’s Wednesday morning, and they’re already ready to drink.
Here, I must say, Vova perked up.
“Vacation,” he said, “vacation.”! That’s what I need, I’ve never had a vacation!
“It’s not strange,” I say, “you worked for three months maximum.”. Are you with us?
– Yes, sure. I’m on vacation! What are your plans??
I briefly told him about our plans. However, I can convey the conversation: “First we get drunk, then the women”. Hearing about women, Vova smiled: “Mmm… Women are good…”. (I remember. I somehow approach Vovka and ask:
– Well, on the second date with that friend I was?
– No. Afraid.
– Afraid?! – I exclaim. He went to the first three days ago, said that he liked the girl.
– Yes, I forgot what she looks like, I’m afraid she’ll turn out to be scary..
– Clear. Happens…)

Beer "Coffee". Grill"
We have a favorite pub. It’s called "Coffee". Grill". Strange, but from the very beginning they served only one drink – beer. There was no coffee, much less a grill, and there couldn’t be. Moreover, interestingly, there has never been a visitor who asked about coffee.
A wide variety of people gather in this pub. We have a “literary circle”, which includes the eldest of the brothers. Once they spoke in poetry all evening. The bartender at the bar thought there was going to be a fight. There is one poet who comes up to the tables and begins to read Vysotsky’s poems with feeling, hitting the table with his fist and waving his arms. There are also ordinary drunkards, but somehow there are fewer of them.

It just so happened https://fwincasino.co.uk/bonus/ that this cafe became our place. At first you seem to come there occasionally, simply because it’s closer. Then you somehow get used to sitting here, and then they get used to you too. Now the pigeons are calmly walking nearby. They know that he is only dangerous in the evening – he can fall. So, day after day, you become part of this cafe. You know everyone, everyone knows you..
In general, this happened to us too. Our favorite pub "Coffee". Grill" could no longer be imagined without us. One of the brothers, Arthur, became a regular at the literary circle, and the second, Dima, became the drunkest bartender in Sochi.
I remember he was not given a salary – he drank beer twice as much as he earned. The owner said that until he worked off the drink, he would not receive any money. Dmitry was not upset. He just went on strike. Purely Akopyanovskaya. He stated: “Since they don’t give me money, I work like this: a glass for a visitor – two for myself. A glass for the visitor – two for yourself". And what’s interesting is that he never abandoned this practice during his entire work. In the evening he became kind, sociable and loving.

Now a few words about Arthur. His figure, both in the story and in life, “Coffee. Grill" is very significant. And in general, he is a unique person. Arthur read all Soviet and foreign science fiction. Knows the classics almost by heart. He writes plays himself, stages theater productions, works (sometimes) as a psychologist, but… He is not anyone. Natural laziness. He managed to get a job as a director three times, in different companies, and left without working for a month

– Arthur, you’re a fool? This is already the second job! You come for an interview to be a manager, but you become a deputy director, a week later a director, and then you quit?!
– The secretary is not sexy..

And so everywhere. The last time he quit screaming: “But they’re all donkeys there.”! You understand, donkeys?! I go up to our loaders, talk to them about the Strugatskys, but they don’t understand. Shit team!». After that, we crossed Arthur off the list of “Those from whom we can borrow money in the future.”.

But we digress. Let’s go back to the vacation, to the Akopyans, Arturchik, Vova and me. The goal was simple, but also very difficult at the same time. Get from one point of the city to another, but without getting into adventures and without changing the plan: first the beer, and only then the women. Vova began to doubt the possibility of getting there without incident.
— You understand: summer, sea, there are so many beautiful girls around. They’ll tear me apart! Although,” he glanced at us, “nothing will be possible with you.”. Maybe I’ll spend my vacation without you, huh?.
Let me explain: Volkov is the most unsuccessful hero-lover. He had thousands of adventures, but they all ended in running. From women. But more on that later..
– Well, beer – for a jerk? – Suggested by Dmitry
– Dima, you know how this jerk usually ends..
– Don’t piss! This is how we do it – for warm-up. Who is against… – Dima began to ask, but Arthur Hakobyan finished:
-…us, that complete *censored*ac! All for beer! – and we went to the nearest pub
And it began..
Then again..
Then “Well, another glass?»
And one more thing… “But it’s going well!»
And we are already somewhere..

I remember walking. I remember it’s dark. I remember the words. I remember people. As for the rest… River. Beer. River. Beer. Sign "Coffee". Grill". The laughter of the non-drinking Arthur (well, *censored*, I’ll laugh again tomorrow!), the cafe itself. We finally came..

Dmitry said in a slurred voice: “The fact that the pub is in its place is a sure sign that Allah exists and loves us.”!».
Only one thing marred our glorious campaign. Our journey through the darkness. Our journey is full of fears. Our hike with bellies full of beer. Our hike without toilets and bushes… The cafe was closed.

Teetotal, *censored*, Arturchik smiled. Vova buhtel: “Well, the Akopyans – they brought. Ugh, the whole vacation was ruined!». A stingy man’s tear rolled down Arthur’s face. She had everything. And pain for loyal ideals and the immorality of society, and the tragedy of life, and the simple desire to remove moisture from the body by any means, because the stomach is full. Only Dmitry was not discouraged. He laughed sarcastically, walked up to the door, and almost in chorus, began to say, “And who, and who has a working day? And I, and I have a working day. Visitors – please!"And he opened the door with the key..

Moths

If a reader asks me, tell me how it was this morning? I’ll make a martyr’s face and ask for mineral water. This will explain everything. But if the reader begins to insist, then I will silently lead him to Vova. And I’ll say, “Well, reader, ask Vova about drinking.”. And the reader will ask: “Well, Vova, do you want beer??». And Vova won’t answer. Vova will remain silent. And only an involuntary guttural sound and splashes will be the answer to the reader..

But we won’t remember this terrible morning. Let’s fast forward to the evening. When the non-drinker Arturchik had already shut up, Vova stopped vomiting, and the Akopyan brothers were so hung over that they needed a drink.
Great things awaited us. Search for women. If you don’t go in a crowd, then in Sochi it’s not difficult to find someone for the evening. But we are all going together, we are friends! Arturchik and Vova didn’t like this idea. They knew exactly how it would end. They also knew how much the Hakobyans loved to drink and how much they didn’t care about women.

Before we even got to the stop, women began to pick on us. Several girls, even pretty ones and already drunk (which means no need to drink), what could be better? But… the brothers ruined everything. They called the girls sluts and they – I can’t even imagine why – were offended.

-Are you completely crazy??! – Arturchik bawled
– Yes, you saw them? They’re already approaching the guys in the area. No, this is not our level. We need real women,” answered Dmitry
– Tell me, my friend Dmitry, what were you guided by when you rented whores at the station for 500 rubles?. – I asked. But the question was rhetorical, and while we were waiting for a taxi, I remembered..

Once the brothers went to pick up whores. Once again. But where should I lead the ladies?? Naturally, to a hotel room. But there was only enough money for two girls and one number. But it doesn’t matter, first one rests, and then the other. Dmitry was the first. Arthur was in charge of the money. And so, the youngest of the brothers finishes his so-called vacation, and the girls ask for money. Then something hits Dmitry’s head, and he decides that they have already been paid. Of course, a man cannot survive such an insult. Okay, asking for money once, but after a night of love asking for a second time is unheard of impudence. And so, Dmitry, offended to the core, grabs one girl by the hair and drags her to the balcony. He tried to throw her out of the window. Thankfully, everything turned out okay.

We are there. Park. Where else but in the evening park to find girls. There are hundreds of them here. Many got drunk themselves, some are waiting to be given a drink. And only a few rest after drinking and love… We weren’t interested in the latter, and neither were the latter. But the first category is the best. We are for gender equality, since we got drunk ourselves, we will give the girls the same opportunity.

We decided to split up but stay close to each other. I went with Vova.
We didn’t have to wait long – after a few minutes we were literally surrounded by four nice drunk people.

– Oh, boys, boys! How cute you are… Well, let’s go to the sea? There aren’t many people there, it’s good there.
– Yes, yes. By the sea, yeah. Sea. Empty. “Okay,” Vova nods, almost licking his lips and stroking one of the ladies’ big butts.
“It seems like the vacation was going well,” I thought. Well, I’m walking left and right over a charming girl (the more alcohol penetrated my consciousness, the more beautiful they seemed to me). And we go to the beach. There will be a paddle, and I’ll finally look at the seas.

The park is all lit up. Many couples laugh. Some even sing songs, but quietly, so as not to disturb anyone. We struck up a nice conversation with our drunk girls. They laugh, we smile eagerly with our eyes. Two guys are walking towards.

– Oh, boys, boys! How cute you are… Well, let’s go to the sea. There aren’t many people there, it’s good there,” the girls say, hugging two others. For some reason I was upset..
The rest are even less fortunate. The Hakobyans spent all their money, but that didn’t help them either. They got so drunk that they scared all the girls. Even those who were with them.

Teetotal Arturchik did something, but it’s unclear what. When he met us, he was happy and sad at the same time. Dmitry suggested that Arturchik was shown his breasts, and for him this is a boost of energy for the month ahead.
One way or another, there was no more money. Just some change in your pocket. And then everyone finally remembered that I was on vacation. It happened in the morning, again near the cafe "Coffee. Grill".

– Well, Kirill. After all, you have a vacation, and your wish remains – make a wish for what you want? – Arthur asked
I took the change out of my pocket and started counting.
– There are five of us. We have forty-five rubles. Well, nine per brother. Catch a minibus and we’ll go to the seaside, I haven’t been there for several years..